Category: Final Focus

“You can’t always get what you want… but if you try sometime, you just might find you get what you need.”

It was the late ‘90s, and I was entering my teenage years when I finally realized this piece of sage advice my father repeatedly offered me wasn’t his at all… it was Mick Jagger’s. 

My dad, perpetually cool, was, of course, borrowing his wisdom from the Rolling Stones. I was just too young to know the difference.

But that’s the thing about words of wisdom … it doesn’t really matter whether they came from a song or sermon, a movie or a magazine. 

The best words, if strung together just right, take on a life of their own. Eventually, they stop belonging to the people who first wrote them. They get absorbed into everyday life. They become mottos and mantras. They become advice fathers give their children, phrases we share on social media or scribble down in journals, words we repeat to ourselves & carry with us so long we often forget where they even came from.  That’s what good words do. They settle into you. 

They become part of the lens you see the world through. Over the years, I’ve realized that, thanks to my dad & an aging rock star in impossibly tight pants, that lyrical line has become just that for me— an anthem of sorts. 

Not because life has handed me everything I wanted… there’s certainly a lot that I don’t have and probably never will … but, time and time again, life has given me exactly what I need. 

– Mackenzie Free –

Wife, mother, photographer & current resident of the unassumingly magical town of Steele, Alabama

If we are growing older and our hearts aren’t growing softer… we aren’t doing it right.

If we are growing older and becoming less curious and teachable… we aren’t doing it right.

If we are growing older and gaining wealth but not using it to bless others…

we aren’t doing it right.

If we are growing older and protecting our reputation and pride matters more than protecting people… we aren’t doing it right.

If we are growing older and expecting grace for ourselves while withholding it from someone else… we aren’t doing it right.

If we are growing older and our faith produces more judgment than gentleness…

we aren’t doing it right.

And if we are growing older but remaining exactly the same?

We definitely aren’t doing it right.

We were never meant to stay the same.

The aim of aging is to become better.

– Mackenzie Free –

Wife, mother, photographer & current resident of the unassumingly magical town of Steele, Alabama

The funny thing about nostalgia is it rarely tells the whole truth. 

It crops out the messy bits and smooths over the rough parts. It remembers the glow and not the glare. It replays the happiness but edits out the heartache. It’s a generous storyteller— but not always an honest historian.

It culls the past just enough to feel softer and a little more beautiful than it might have in the moment. 

But maybe that’s part of its magic … or mercy. That it doesn’t tell the whole truth. Because the whole story was never as simple as memory makes it.

There were beautiful days, days that felt ordinary, and others that felt unbearably hard.

But time has a gentle way of editing our memories.

It blurs the edges.

Softens the noise. And leaves us holding the warmest parts of what once was. 

And maybe that’s all nostalgia really is –

A tender recollection of our past. 

– Mackenzie Free –

Wife, mother, photographer & current resident of the unassumingly magical town of Steele, Alabama

No matter how old I get, I always seem to be waiting for the day I finally grow up. 

We spend our childhood looking toward all these mile markers — driving, graduation, college, marriage, parenthood — believing that once we pass a few of them, something magical will happen.

We’ll grow up. We’ll know things. We’ll FINALLY arrive and stop feeling like we’re just guessing our way through life. 

But here’s the secret no one tells you when you’re young:

You never really grow up. … At least not all the way. Sure, you age. You get larger … taller … wiser in some ways, tired in others. But truthfully, the older you get, the more you realize how little you actually know.

And the more you realize you’re not alone. 

The big secret in childhood is that no one ever really warns you that you never really grow up completely … no matter how old you get. I’m convinced even the oldest and wisest among us still have moments where they still feel 16 again, a little unsure and a little lost. Most days, I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. I am literally just “winging” my way through life.  At least once a week, I would give anything to call my mom (who’s been gone over 10 years now) and ask her to come over and help me fix my life.

Some days, my kids call out for a grown-up, and it takes me a minute to remember —that’s me. I’M the grown-up. And like so many other “grown-ups,” I still look around wondering how in the world I got here — But here I am. Trying. Failing. Guessing. Growing up. Hoping I’m choosing right. … And occasionally glancing over my shoulder to see if a ‘real’ grown-up is coming to save me. 

Spoiler—   they’re not. It’s us.  It’s always been us.

– Mackenzie Free –

Wife, mother, photographer & current resident of the unassumingly magical town of Steele, Alabama

What if, instead of making lofty New Year’s resolutions, we all agreed to simply try a little harder to be a little better than we were the year before?

To be kinder – not just when it’s easy, but when it’s hard and inconvenient. To be more honest, even when it’s uncomfortable, and to forgive more readily, knowing we’ve all fallen short at some point.

What if we gave a little more – of our money, our time and our patience? What if we extended a little more grace to the people who need it most, including ourselves?

What if instead of looking too long at what’s behind us or constantly chasing what’s next, we took more time to appreciate what’s here now?

What if we loved a little better the people we often take for granted? The people who stand beside us and see us clearly – flaws and all – and choose to love and support us, not just for who we will be … but for who we already are today.

What if we try a little harder to find joy in the present moment – and keep our feet firmly planted in appreciation for the beautiful gift of life right now?

– Mackenzie Free –

Wife, mother, photographer & current resident of the unassumingly magical town of Steele, Alabama

Not every season of life will look productive on the surface. Some years are meant for planting, others for harvesting … but the fallow season – the one where the soil rests – often feels the longest and hardest.

But in that rest, unseen forces are still at work. The ground is regenerating and restoring itself and what looks like emptiness now is actually preparation for future abundance.

Our lives often follow the same rhythm. There are seasons where we strive, create, and flourish. And there are seasons where we’re called to pause, recover, and be still.

This time may look and feel unproductive, even wasted. But the fallow season is not for nought – it’s a period of necessary preparation.

It’s a season of hidden and holy work, preparing the soil … and our soul … for the future fruits of our labor.

– Mackenzie Free –

Wife, mother, photographer & current resident of the unassumingly magical town of Steele, Alabama